dear once friend of mine

dear once friend of mine,

its been almost one year since we talked, since we saw each other eye to eye, and i can't help but miss you.... its so sad that a friendship like the one we had could be destroyed by mere words, but this words were strong and a reflection of what we thought about each other but could never say....i don't fault you neither do i fault myself because friendship is so many things, sometimes its protecting each other even if it means lying.....(you what they say about lying so as not to hurt those we love? well its true, there's something like that!) well days have passed and we have changed so much, we don't have the same kind of friends or interests,we don't even collide on the street anymore....its like there's a whole Pacific or Atlantic in between our worlds!! The mass of water and maybe icebergs that keep us apart is our pride,our egos....

Truth be told....

you are the best friend i ever had and will ever have....you knew me right from the day i was born(you were young though), you were there on my first day to school,my first game i played with you, my baptism, my first love, my first heartbreak, my first greatest mistake.....you were the sister that my mother did not bear....you are the only one who knew me inside and outside...

if i could talk to you right now, i would tell you all the things about you/us that is miss and hold so dear;

i would tell you how i miss your cheeky little laugh.

i would tell you how i miss taking long walks home with you,

i would tell you how i miss our silly little jokes that only us understood,

i would tell you just how much i miss sharing our day's experience,

i would tell you how i miss cooking and cleaning with,the way you clean and i rinse....

i would tell you how i miss watching series with you,how we would discuss them later,how we would argue who is hotter than who,how we would exchange them and recommend to each which one to watch first....

i would remind how we stayed up late at night talking about our boyfriends,

i would remind you how happy we were for when our love lives were going so well,

i would tell you how much i miss those endless conversations about almost anything,

i would tell you how much i miss your selflessness,like the way we shared staff half-half...

how i miss our sleepovers...how i miss how we made fun of people and situations,how nothing was ever too big for us...how we were wild and free and how we loved taking risks....

i would tell you how much i miss shopping with you...when we were broke and when we were 'rich' haha 

how we wouldn't make plans separately coz we always had each others back, everybody thought we were joint at the hip......

i would tell you how much i miss sharing my dreams and inspirations with you,

i would tell you also about all my successes and goals that have come true,

i would tell you of the new loves that i have found and lost,

i would tell you of all the new places i have visited and the new people i have found,

i would tell you of all the mistakes i have made,of all the chances i let pass by,of all the wrong choices i have made and even of the small and big things i regret....

all these because i know that i could be real with you....

i would tell you how much i am proud of the person you have become,

i would tell you how happy your success makes me,

i would tell that i still pray for you,

i would tell you that you deserve all that and so much more,

i would thank you for teaching me how to take pride in all the little things that make me who i am,

i would remind you just how hungry we were for success and how happy i am that we find it,

i would tell that i am now done with my degree and hoping to graduate soon,

how i wish that we were still friends or how i miss just knowing whats going on your world now...

how i don't know what to tell people when they ask why they don't see us together anymore,i would love to know your side of the story,

i would like to know if you miss me or if you think of me as often as i think of you...

there's sooooo much i would like to tell...sooo much i would like to know but i probably never will....

             ~Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding.~
                                                            Sri Chinmoy

all in all i do love you once friend of mine......and i do miss you a whole bunch....all the above and more are things i hope i could say to you,nut since i know i may never find the right forum or even time....i hope that you stumble on my blog and read for yourself!!!